Keith Morris of the Circle Jerks

-Illustration by Jose Pombeiro


This Keith Morris interview was done sometime in early 2007. He agreed to a phone interview but the only time we could talk was during the day while I was working at my old job. So I had to interview him on my lunch break in one of our empty conference rooms. I was trying to be as discreet as possible which was very difficult due to the fact that Keith is a very funny guy. Also there was a slight technical difficulty with my recorder. Anyhow everything turned out fine and it was a really fun interview to do. I'm glad Keith took the time to speak to me because I have been a Circle Jerks fan
for many years. Enjoy kiddies!

DE: Hi is this Keith?

KM: Yes this is.

DE: Hello?

KM: Um yes. Did my manager contact you and explain to you that I don't do interviews unless there's been a check sent in advance?

DE: Um ok...

KM: Yeah I get $500 to do interviews.

DE: Ok then..

KM: (Laughing) Hello, I'm just kidding.

DE: Jerk!

KM: That's right. I am a jerk.

DE: Thanks for doing this interview.

KM: Yes but don't forget the $500 check.

DE: I'll have someone send that out to you right away.

KM: The sooner the better. The thing is that you can't publish the interview until I receive the check.

DE: Okay, do I have to speak to your lawyer about this?

KM: Yeah..I'm in front of my computer now and I'll give you his number. What you can do is hang up, call him and then call me back. Your gonna have to talk to Greg Hetson and Steve Kravac because they are the owners of Porterhouse(the label that puts out a couple of our records). Then you will have to talk to Andy Somers who is the president of the Agency Group on the west coast. He's our booking agent, so your going to have to get his permission. My mom lives in Tucson and what I'm going to do is give you her number so you can call her and get her permission. The lawyers name is Joe Sofio and he is at Universal Studios. Um what we should do is uh maybe do photos of the interview (once everything is cleared). We can do a photo shoot at Universal Studios because I really like to get my photo taken in front of the shark from JAWS.

DE: That photo shoot sounds like a fantastic idea. So how long have you been playing with the Circle Jerks?

KM: The correct answer to that question before the buzzer goes off is too long. Probably around 25 years or something like that. I would have to go home because like above my bed I chalk off each day until my sentence is up and I get to leave.

DE: So what happens when the sentence is up? What are you going to do?

KM: I'm going to dress like Prince Charming. I'm going to rent a white horse and ride the white horse all over Los Angeles. Then I am going to get the horse up to racing speed and jump off the Santa Monica pier.

DE: Wow that is really beautiful!

KM: Yes as the sun is setting! Either that or I will dress like a Viking and lay down in a little boat. What I'll do is cross my arms over my chest and close my eyes. They can set the boat on fire and push me out to the ocean or push me out in the harbor of Marina del Ray.

DE: How much longer do you have?

KM: 6 weeks, 6 years,and 10days. I'm going to have to put you on hold for one second. I'm at work right now, hold on one sec.

DE: So where do you work?

KM: I work for V2 records but we've been bought out by a larger monstrosity. They decided that instead of being a record company, they were going to go around and buy smaller independent labels and mass the world's largest music catalog.

DE: How do you like working for a record label?

KM: While we were doing V2 it was a blast because I got to work with some really amazing bands. I worked with the Icarus Line, Burning Brides, Gosling, started to work with the Alkaline Trio, and the Adored.

DE: So what's happening now?

KM: We were bought out about two years ago. We worked for them but they never told us what they wanted to do with the label. So consequently we were working, getting paid, listening to bands, sending them bands, and they weren't signing anything.

Is this all because of internet downloading?

KM: All these record companies are panicking because people are on the internet now. They are not going into stores and they aren't buying hard things like cd's, vinyl, cassettes, reel to reel, 8 tracks, mini cassettes, or mini cd's. They are going on the computer and buying one song for .99 cents, which is all fine and wonderful. You don't get to see what the band looks like, you don't get to read the lyrics, you don't get to hold anything in your hand, and it kind of defeats the purpose of why we like music. What's happening now is that all of a sudden we have these bands putting all of this music out saying "hey watch us live Saturday night on your computer!" Like what the fuck? I want to go be in a big hot sweaty room. I want to see people jumping around. I want to slip on the floor where somebody spilled a beer. I want to stomp my foot in some vomit. I want to experience a live party where the band is so horrible that people who are at the party are throwing the band's equipment into the swimming pool while still being plugged in.

DE: How is the business side of the industry?

KM: You mean the amount of money I'm making? My bank account is getting so large that I'm going to have to hire a maid to clean the house I just purchased in Beverly Hills. I'm renting it out for adult film shoots and wild DJ parties on Saturday nights. When like 5,000 kids show up and the swimming pool is filled with champagne, Jello, food dye, and shampoo. And I have to pay off the Beverly Hills police and the mayor gets his bag of cocaine once a week. Can we get back to the original question? The business side is horrible. If your smart you try to keep your nose in your business. We try to tell this to all the bands we work with but at the same time there are a lot of people in bands who could care less. All they want to do is be in bands, get laid, do drugs, and stay out until 7am.

DE: What bands do you like? Any new bands?

KM: No they are all horrible. Yeah I hate all of them. Some of the bands I really hate are the Explosion, the Distillers, Fucked Up, and I really hate 400 Blows. There are just so many bands that I hate. The bands I really like are Train and Maroon 5. I really love Maroon 5 they are one of my favorites. Who else do I like? Pete Yorn and Peter Borg or whoever the fuck they are.

DE: I don't even think I have ever heard Pete Borg, I will have to check them out. I do love Maroon 5 though. (laughing)

KM: No you don't want to hear them because you will like them so much. Not only are you going to buy a cd for your car, you will also buy one for your house, office, and for all the neighbors who live on your block. So far you have bought a hundred of their cds. Then you figure that since you bought all of those, your going to buy some more for Christmas gifts. Your parents would like one, their dog, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

DE: I did that with the Fall Out Boy cd.

KM: I really really love Fall Out Boy! They are the best band out there right now. I like Fall Out Boy more than I like Maroon 5. What has Rob Thomas been up to lately?

DE: I don't know but I really love Matchbox 20.

KM: Not only do I love his voice but the guys in his band look like really hardcore rockin guys. They definitely fall under that rock band look; scuzzy, tattoos, needle mark arms, unshaven, and scraggly. I'm sure they listen to Johnny Thunders and Turbonegro. I'm sure they are big fans of the MC5 and the Stooges. Ok I got to put you on hold for one second.

DE: Okay

KM: You still there? I'm surprised, I would have hung up. I'm diabetic and have to wiz occasionally. I have been stowing up three ice teas. All sarcasm aside, now we need to get back to product and all that fun stuff. Or are we going to move onto another subject?

DE: We can put the business talk aside for now. What was your first concert?

KM: I was fortunate as a youngster to have people around me who were interested in music. So my aunt decided that she was going to throw a party in her backyard in Redondo Beach. She had a band called Smokestack Lightening play and they were horrible. I remember to this day how horrible they were. So yeah my aunt took the bathtub out of the bathroom and put it in the backyard. Then she filled it with Kool Aid and spiked it with acid. Everybody was really happy about that and they were all having a good time with a smile on their faces. My grandparents were dancing to Smokestack Lightening. I also got to see Arthur Lee and Love and also the Barbarians.

This is when my cell phone breaks and can't hear anything Keith is saying. Fortunately I call him back from another phone and we resume the interview.

DE: Hey Keith, so sorry about that. All I could hear was that your parents were dancing to Smokestack Lightning.

KM: Yeah because they were high on acid.

DE: (Laughing) I didn't get that part, so they were high on acid?

KM: Uh huh, I think I was too young too understand.

DE: What was your first album you bought with your own money?

KM: That would be Jimi Hendrix Experience "Are You Experienced" and the first Led Zepplin album.

DE: So are you sick of all the generic interview questions?

KM: Actually what happens is that you come to point where you realize that it comes with the territory,

DE: Do you enjoy playing live?

KM: That's my favorite part about all of this. It's more important than the interviews and more important than the rehearsals. I like playing live. It's a challenge because I'm at an age where I'm doing something that maybe I shouldn't be doing. People are still coming out and still appreciate the fact that we're doing it.

DE: Do you have a lot of young fans?

KM: Yes we do actually. It's kind of like Beatle mania with lots of screaming 11 and 12 year old girls. The great thing is that we just played some shows on the Warped Tour. We try to play as many all ages shows that we possibly can. A lot of places that we play don't allow all ages. Say you go to Salt Lake City, which is divided into adults and kids. There is no place in between which is really sad. That's just the way it is. Sometimes we upset people but that is okay. We learn from that.

DE: How do you feel about the current state of music?

KM: I'm really excited about it, it's insanely great right now. I don't think we can have enough bands that sound like Interpol. I'm not dissing Interpol because I actually like them. Back when the Circle Jerks started there were 800 bands, now there are 800 million bands. Everybody is in a band. You go to a restaurant and the busboy is in a band with his dog. His dog is the lead vocalist.

DE: Who is the most interesting person you've collaborated with?

KM: Myself! I have a way of being able to amuse myself and I'm really quite genius, I don't have a favorite person that I have collaborated with. Greg Hetson is good, Kevin Fitzgerald is good, the Snake is good, and so is Lucky Lehrer.

DE: What's going on with the Circle Jerks now? Are you writing new stuff?

KM: Why would we want to do something new and fresh? I am in the process of writing lyrics. The guys in the band are like "We've got to record a new album We have to for our career and our business so that we can make more money." I'm in no hurry to do this.

DE: Do you feel pressure to keep making new records?

KM: No. We didn't want to be part of the competition and contest. We didn't want to be one of these groups on a continuous hamster wheel.

DE: Do you still talk to any of the guys from Black Flag?

KM: I actually converse over the internet with Chuck the Duke. I've always like Chuck Dukowski and we are both anti government. We're hoping that people become a bit more aware. It's time for them to put their foot down and say "you work for us, we don't work for you." That's for all the people who think they are in charge and who are making all of these decisions for us. I do a little bit of conversing on the phone with Raymond Pettibon. The last time I say Robo was when he was playing with the Misfits.

DE: Those guys seems bitter about the Circle Jerks stealing songs from Black Flag.

KM: If they still are then it's really too bad. The fact of the matter is that when we started the band I had a bunch of lyrics but we didn't have a lot of songs. I went to the guys in the band and said "look is there anything that you wrote when you were in these other bands? If you wrote them then they are partially yours." I didn't look at it as like going around and ripping off all of these bands. It really doesn't matter when you look at it over the course of time. It fueled some anger and maybe made some people write more songs. The fact of the matter is that we are older guys. There is no reason for us to be harboring old beefs and hatred. We've got other things to be angry and spiteful towards.